i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
