Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
