This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
