Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
