Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
