you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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