Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
