my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
