Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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