We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
