I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
