the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
