Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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