I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
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