The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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