Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
