At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
