Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
