The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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