and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
