I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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