Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I came so hard my ears popped.
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