they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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