Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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