i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
