One girl and one boy is just not enough.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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