forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
