Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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