pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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