Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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