you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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