just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
