you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
