I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
