So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
my god I love twenty year old dicks
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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