so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
false alarm. still invincible.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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