look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
