It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
