She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
