it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
