Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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