My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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