Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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