she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
