I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
