Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
