I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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