So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
