Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
