Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
