I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
